I'm Up, I'm Up
by MaskOfRain
Summary: So, what happens when you mix a depressed teen, a bad boy, and a whole lot of adventure filled times? I'll let you guess on this one. WARNING for self harm, cussing, and possibly some -Minor- sexual scenes. PruCan my dears.
1. Prologue

**_irst fanfic! Please don't shoot me!_**  
><strong><em> A<em>**

**_Well, I'm going to try and write this. I know it may suck, and I may not be the best writer in the world, but I'm pretty sure that if I keep writing, I might improve. ^^ (lolno probably not.)_**

**_But, anyway, here you go, and I hope it doesn't suck! ;w;_**

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><p>"<em>What if I wanted to break, laugh it all off in your face? What would you do?" <em>The song was playing on a loop on my iPod. I sat there laying in my bed, wasting time. This was something I did quite often on the weekends. I never really had anything to do on weekends; no one to go do anything with. Sounds a bit pathetic, right?

Oh, I forgot to mention myself. My name is Matthew Williams.

'Oh, Alfred's brother?'

Yeah. _His _brother.

If you couldn't tell, I don't exactly get along with my brother.

Alfred is one of the jocks. He plays football, gets all the girls (Not like I care), and is basically your stereotypical "Popular Kid". Bet you can't guess what my status is on the scale of popularity.

Well, I don't think 'invisible' is really a status, but if it was, that would be mine. No one really notices me, or even _tries _to. Whatever.

I'm the quiet kid that normally people don't notice, as I have stated before. I'm a tad bit shy- scratch that, _very _shy, and I haven't had a real friend in a long time. Well, I don't think I've ever really had one…

I also recently became quite sad with how my life is going. And sadly, I have no one to vent to.

But anyway…

I get up from my bed and walk to the bathroom, sort of trudging (Yeah, people actually do that.). I should actually do something today, and I'm going to start my hopefully-eventful day with a nice, hot shower. That is, if Alfred hasn't hogged all the hot water.

I walk into the bathroom and strip down to my underwear. I turn on the shower, letting it warm up before I step in, and while it's warming up, I look at myself in the mirror. Now, I'm a pretty average teenager. I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny. Lean is a good word choice to describe my body. My face is soft looking, and almost spotless, except for a few freckles over the bridge of my nose. My eyes are a deep violet. Not purple, but not blue. My hair is light blonde, wavy, and reaches down my neck a bit, with a stubborn curl on the top that twirls off to the side. Some people used to tell me that I looked like my brother, just more feminine. When people tell me that, it makes me a bit upset.

_One, _because I am OBVIOUSLY not a girl.

_Two, _because I want nothing to do with my brother, let alone _look _like him. But whatever.

So, once I'm done examining myself in the mirror, I take off my underwear and get in the shower. I stay in there for a good hour, maybe an hour-and-a-half. I sit down in the tub and let the warm shower water cascade down my face. I begin to tear up randomly, the old depressed feeling starting to come back to me. (It does this quite often.). I clench my hands into fists and bring them to my face, covering my eyes. I bring them back a few minutes later and a silent sob escapes my mouth, and after that, another one. They keep coming, but I make sure that they're quiet. Though It's not like anyone will notice. They never notice. I stop for a moment and look down at my arms. My arms that are covered with cuts and scars. And no, it wasn't a cat. It wasn't a freak accident. It was me.

My name is Matthew Williams. I'm shy, have no friends, and I'm depressed. Oh yeah, and I'm also a cutter.


	2. Chapter 1

I step out of the shower and grab a towel (That just so happened to be conveniently placed out on the rack next to the shower) and I wrap it around my waistline. I go back to the mirror and wipe off some of the condensation that had built up on it. I look at my face for a moment. I look at my red, puffy eyes and make a mental note.

_Note to self, don't cry right as you're about to get out. If anyone sees you, they'll get suspicious. (Or not)._ _Probably not. But still._

Yeah, my mental notes can get rather long.

I walk swiftly into my room, as to avoid other people, close the door behind me, and I begin to rummage through my drawers for something to wear today. I pick out some Canadian flag boxers, (I'm from Canada), a pair of black somewhat-skinny jeans, and a white tee shirt. I put on my boxers, then my pants, but I don't put on my shirt quite yet. There's something that has to be done first.

I walk over to my nightstand, which was against the wall and my bed, and I grab a metal object, and a rag.

My razor, and my cleaning rag, still covered in a bit of dried up blood.

I set both items on my nightstand, and I walk over to my door and lock it. Then I go to my window, and I close the blinds. The room was dark, except for the minimal amount of light that still seeped through my blinds, and my nightstand lamp. I go over and pick up the razor and cloth again, and I sit down in a corner of my room, away from the door and the window. Tears flood my vision and I begin to cry silently again. But I'm used to it. This has kind of become a daily routine. As a tear slides down my cheek, I carefully press the razor blade onto the underside of my left arm, and then… _PAUSE!_

I know what you're thinking.

"Oh Matthew! Don't hurt yourself! Why would you do this? Whyyyy?"

Well, it's simple.

I have no other outlet, and it helps me remember that, you know, I'm _actually here_, because with all of those daily 'invisible' occurrences, I tend to sometimes believe that I'm not actually here. Just, invisible.

Also, I think I can say I've been through some pretty tough times. When I was little, maybe about five or so, and before I moved in with Alfred and his parents, I lived with my dad. My parents had divorced when I was about, what, three? Four? I'm not sure. But, at around age five, my dad began to drink. Cliché, I know, but he did. Just to get his mind off of the divorce or whatever. A little after that, he also began to take his anger out on me, starting off with just screaming and yelling at me. Until I was about eight that is.

That's when he decided to get _violent_. He would strike me almost every time he saw me. He would say all kinds of things, such as "Haha! You stupid little bastard!" or "It's your fault your mom and I aren't together anymore!", and other things in that nature. And you want to know the most funny thing of all of that.

_No one noticed!_

Shocker, I know.

But soon, _someone_ found out I guess, because my dad got caught and the cops arrested him, thus putting me in foster care. Which just so happened to be with Alfred's family. Just my luck.

Even after I moved into his house, which was about when I was thirteen, I was still pretty unnoticed. I didn't complain though. I was safe, I had food, shelter, and some kind of functional family.

Life became pretty tough after that too though. I mean, at school. At home I was ignored, but at school I _wish _I was ignored. I got attention all right, but not very good attention.

The teachers never noticed me, but apparently, school bullies have a keen eye for quiet, defenseless, people.

I began to get picked on by a few people at school. A few boys -cough!Antonioand Francis,cough!- began to pester me on a daily basis. It started off kind of similar to how it began when my dad began to abuse me, and then the cycle seemed to flow the same. First, name calling, which I could handle. It happened before, so I was kind of used to it. (It still hurt nonetheless.). Then came the physical stuff. I was getting pushed into lockers, getting my books thrown out of my hands, getting jumped and spat on, and other things like that. After that it became a bit unbearable. So, that's when I began to search for an outlet.

Now, don't get me wrong, I tried other things before I started to uh, cut. I tried writing in a journal (Which ended _badly. _Let's just say that the bullies found it.), I tried to draw, but that was a bit more annoying and I can't draw to save my life, and I tried to do those breathing exercises that shrinks and doctors tell you to do when you get stressed. Yeah, didn't work.

So, as a last resort, I started to cut.

I can't really tell you what it feels like to cut. I mean, yeah, it hurts, but sometimes you're just so into it, you can't feel it. You begin to think, too. Stuff like, Why am I doing this? What drove me to do this? Why am I _freaking enjoying this?_

So, that's the whole background as to why I do what I do. I mean, I don't want to come off as some kind of fake, attention-hogging kid who likes to go around blabbing about "Oh my life sucks! Just kill me nao plz!"

Yeah, no.

I believe I actually have reason. And a weird thing is, I don't actually want to die. I just want to be noticed, _and in a good way._

But anyway, back to the whole 'Cut Scene'. (Heh, you see what I did there, world?)

_RESUME!_

I pressed the blade harder against my skin and slid it horizontally. I pulled back and watched as blood started to trickle out of the wound. After a few moments, I repeated the process. Again. And again. And again, until I had over a dozen cuts down the underside of my left arm. Ah, more cuts to go along with the plethora already on my arms. I stop and set the razor down on the carpet.

_No one will notice the blood stains._

I take my cloth and gently dab at the cuts, wincing a bit as the cloth meets the wounds. I grab the razor again and wipe off the blood. Then I stand, put the razor and cloth away back where they came from, and take out a roll of bandages. I gently wrap the bandages around my arm until all of the cuts are covered. Then I proceed to put on my white tee shirt. And since you can still see my bandaged arms, I throw on my favorite red Hoodie too.

I go downstairs and into the kitchen, seeing an argument unfold between Alfred and his dad. I sigh and walk out of the front door, and out into the world.

_Something tells me that today is going to be different…_


	3. Chapter 2

_**Okay! So, second chapter is up!**_  
><em><strong>I'm sorry if it seems a bit rushed. This happens when I write, and I'm trying to get out of the habit of doing it! ;^^ <strong>_

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><p>I look around at the world around me. It's fall, so it's a bit chilly. The trees around me are turning from green to brilliant shades of red, orange, yellow, and brown. I step off of my porch and start to walk down the sidewalk, going towards a nearby park. I look around, shivering as a car passes by, and then within about ten minutes, I reach the park. It's pretty much an average, every-day park. You have a little slide-monkey bar-rope-combo sort of thing, then you have swings. And also a few benches.<p>

I go and sit down on one of the swings, gently rocking back and forth a little, and I look around. There were a few kids there, and some people I didn't really wish to see at the moment.

_Oh God…_

It was Francis, Antonio, and also their friend Gilbert. Those are the bullies I talked about earlier. (Well, not Gilbert. He kind of just stays away.) They were standing a bit of a ways off, over near a water fountain. I closed my eyes and stopped moving, hoping that they wouldn't see me. I opened my eyes a few moments later and saw that they were gone. I sighed in relief and continued to rock myself.

Then, out of nowhere, I was pushed off of my swing. I had almost landed on my face, but I caught myself. I was on all fours, and before I could look back to see what happened, someone kicked me in the rib. I gasped and fell over, finally meeting the eyes of my attacker.

Guess who?

Francis, Antonio, and Gilbert.

_Sneaky bastards snuck up on me…_

I try to pick myself up, but that just earns me another kick. Francis and Antonio began to laugh, but Gilbert stayed silent, eyeing me from a few feet away. Tears came to my eyes, (God I hate how I cry at just about everything.) and Antonio just laughed.

"Oh, so now you're going to cry? Just over a little push?" He mocked me and I tried to stand again, only to be kicked down again, and this time held down by Antonio's foot on my stomach. Francis snickered and bent down close to me, smirking.

"_Oui, _you can try to run, _but you won't get far~_" He said in his natural seductive tone. By now tears were streaming down my face, and that's when Gilbert stepped in.

"Hey, we should go. He's not worth our time. He's too pathetic and no fun." He said and shot a glance at me. Francis pouted a little and Antonio scoffed, picking his foot up and stepping away. But before he turned away, he landed one last final (And may I say _painful_) blow to my side. I guess he used all his force, because it hurt like _hell._ And he was wearing _boots. _Goddam.

They began to walk away, and Gilbert cast a final glance at me. I stared back, probably looking really pathetic just laying there. When they disappeared, I didn't get up. Instead, I just laid there. I looked up at the sky, (It was becoming a little cloudy), and I closed my eyes. I waited like that for a while. It felt really long, but in reality, it was only about ten minutes. I opened my eyes again, and tried to sit back up. A shock of pain sent me down again, but then I tried again. I managed to stand, but I almost fell. I held onto my side and started to make my way back to my house.

_So much for doing something worthwhile today…_

It takes me a bit longer than usual to get back to my house, but I manage. Though, right before I get to my porch, I see someone running towards me.

"Hey, kid!"

It was Gilbert.

Gilbert?

Yeah, I'm a bit confused too.

I stopped and stared at him, a confused, (And somewhat pained) expression on my face. _Wh-what _does_ he want?_

He runs up to me, stopping about a foot away from me, looking a bit nervous.

"Hey uh, sorry about earlier. They just like to mess with people, and I uh, saw how you were crying…" He stopped and looked to the side nervously.

This made me a bit irritated, and most definitely surprised.

"So? Why would you care?" I asked him, sending him a cold glance. Not something I usually do, but I can say I was a bit pissed. I mean, I have right to be, right? This guy just stood and watched as I got beat. As if I'm really going to welcome him with open arms.

He looks back at me, and smirks.

"Because. The awesome me can't just leave a poor, injured bird to fly away on it's own!"

_Bird?_

"So I'm going to help you!"

_Help? What?_

"What?" I ask, a little baffled.

Someone actually wants to help _me?_ It's like a dream come true!

Or is it…

For some reason, I become angry. How am I supposed to believe this guy? He's a stranger for God's sake!

"You're going to _help _me?" I ask, my words icy. Before I lose my cool on this poor guy, I turn around and walk to my door.

"Wait! I don't even know your name!" He calls, oblivious to my attitude, apparently. I turn my head and stare at him, giving nothing away.

"Matthew. It's Matthew." I say, and walk inside.

I walk inside, then _BAM! _I'm pushed against the door by a falling Alfred. Oh, it looks like he was about to leave.

"Sorry Mattie!" He apologizes and pushes me out of the way, then exits the house.

"Nice to see you too!" I call to him sarcastically and close the door. I sigh and walk into the kitchen, where I see Alfred's dad sitting. He looked pretty pissed.

"Something wrong…?" I ask cautiously. I've always been afraid of angry people. Care to guess why?

He looks up at me and sighs.

"Your brother is just such a handful, I swear… hey, what's that?" He points to a spot on my sweater arm, right where my cuts are.

_Fuck!_

My eyes widen and I turn around.

"I'm not sure, I'll go check it out-" I reply and try to go, but Alfred's dad stops me. He quickly turns me around and pulls up my sleeves, and instinctively I pull back. I look up into his eyes, and see shock and outrage.

_Well dammit._

"Matthew! What the fuck is that?" He shouts, confusion showing clear on his face. He grabs my arm harshly and rips the bandages off, and gasps when he sees my arms. I jerk my arm away and make a run for the door. He doesn't stop me. He just stares, and frankly I don't blame him.

I run out into my yard and run in the direction of the park again. While running I pull my sleeve down over my arm (Which is now bleeding again, thanks to Alfred's dad.) and tears start to pour down my face. I run past the park and towards the school. Which, isn't really where I want to spend my Sunday, but I don't have much of a choice, do I?

Anyway, as I'm racing down the street, I just happen to run into someone.

"S-sorry!" I gasp and look up. My heart sinks.

"A-A-Alfred…" I squeak and quickly stand up, holding my arm. Alfred gets up also, giving me an irritated look.

"Mattie, you should watch where you're going…. Hey, something wrong?" He looks down at my arm. I guess the slowly-growing red stain on my sleeve was becoming more obvious. Before I get to reply he grabs my wrist and uncovers my arms. He gasps and brings his hand up to cover his mouth. Then he looks from me to the cuts, and back again. The tears kept coming and I let out a small sob. And you know what he does?

_He walks away!_

My own brother walks away from me. Right after he sees that I hurt myself.

Okay, so now I'm a bit confused, but mostly hurt. I turn around and begin to run to the school again. It takes me about ten minutes, but I finally make it. I run into the little area outside where everyone can just chill when classes aren't in session, and I sit against the wall. Then, I let everything out.

I start to sob, not really caring if anyone hears me.

I doubt that they will anyway.

I start to tremble slightly, and then I look to my left.

Broken beer bottle shards.

Instinctively I grab a piece, and I began to saw at my arms.

I know what you're thinking.

"Matthew! What the hell? That's very dangerous!"

Well, I wasn't exactly thinking, and I _needed_ to cut. I had grown used to cutting whenever I was really upset, and I just so happened to forget my razor. I was kind of hoping today would be a good day.

Guess I was wrong.

So, after about a half an hour, I had both arms covered in bleeding cuts.

_I really should stop doing this… but I don't know what else to do…_

I set the bloody piece of glass down and examined my arms.

_Note to self, clean off wounds when you get home…_

I nodded to myself and laid my head back against the wall of the building, closing my eyes.

_Well, today definitely was eventful._


	4. Chapter 3

**_Yay~! Chapter 3! :D_**

_**Okay, so I tried to make this one a bit longer than my other ones. And I tried to make it good!**_

_**And Matthew isn't so sad in this one~!**_

_**Reviews are lovely~!**_

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><p>It took a lot of courage, and I mean <em>a lot<em>, but eventually I headed home. It was dark when I got back, probably around nine or ten in the evening. I quietly snuck in and headed up to my room.

Nothing out of order.  
><em>Sigh.<br>_I had a feeling it would be the same. But maybe that's a good thing? I dunno.

Once I made sure that all of my stuff was untouched, I grabbed a pair of blue, plaid pajama pants and a black sweatshirt and head into the bathroom. I flipped the lights on and set my clothes down on the floor. I took off that I was already wearing, and I looked at my cuts. By now they were dried up.

_Better clean them…_

I ran my arms under hot water in the sink, then after I dried them. I put a little bit of rubbing alcohol on the cuts. I hissed in pain(That shit _hurt!_), and I wiped of my arms.  
><em>There. Clean.<em>I sighed and wrapped up my arms in bandages, then proceeded to put my Hoodie on. I tip-toed into my room (Didn't want to wake anyone up.), and I **crawl** into my bed. Tomorrow I had school. I cuddled close into my blanket and closed my eyes.

_Maybe tomorrow will be better…_

I woke up the next morning in pain. My arms hurt, my legs were sore (Probably from running so much.) and I had a _horrible _headache. It might have been the nightmares that invaded my peaceful sheep-counting dreams. Gah.

Anyway, I got up groggily and went to my dresser to pick out some clothes. Just some jeans, a black tee-shirt, and another red Hoodie. (I have about four, just in case you guys were curious.)

My book bag and my other school-related items were already up here in my room, so I quickly grabbed those and put my sneakers on,(A nice pair of red Converse All-Stars. My _good _shoes!).

I go downstairs and quietly exit my house, not even bothering to stop to get breakfast. I wasn't in the mood to run into Alfred's dad again and I wasn't too hungry anyway.

On my way to school I saw a few of my schoolmates walking also. I saw Feliciano, a hyper brown-haired Italian clinging onto Ludwig, a blonde German. They're basically the most well-known couple in school. I think it's sweet.

Walking with them is Romano, Feliciano's twin brother, and Antonio. Another famous couple. Well, according to Romano, "The stupid tomato bastard is _not_ his boyfriend!". Heh. He has a bit of a temper. I try to stay away from him.

I look over and see Kiku and Yao walking together. Kiku was a very smart Japanese student and Yao is a Chinese transfer student. He had just got here about a few weeks ago, and I guess had latched onto Kiku immediately. I thought it was kind of cute. Though, I couldn't help but be a bit jealous of them all.

_I wonder why no one will hang around me like that…_

I sighed and kept walking.

"Hey! Matthew!"

I turn around and see Gilbert and Francis running up to me. I freeze on the spot when I see Francis. They catch up to me and Gilbert grins, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I can't help but blush a little.

"Francis here wants to apologize for yesterday!" He says, giving a small glare towards Francis. Francis seems to ignore it and smiles a warm smile.

_I think it's fake._

"He's right, _mon ami~_ I am very sorry for the way I acted. Maybe from this day forth we can be friends~?" He grabbed my hand gently and bent down, placing a kiss on it.

Okay, _now _I'm blushing. And Gilbert just snickers.

"Cut it out, Francis. You're making Mattie uncomfortable." He murmurs, amusement clear in his voice. I just smile nervously and gently pull my hand back.

"You know, I probably really should get going. Don't wanna be late!" I said quickly and let out a nervous chuckle. I begin to turn around when Francis grabs my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. I look up at him with sort of scared eyes, still blushing. He just chuckles.

"What is it, _mon cher_~? Have you never held hands with a male before~? This must be very new to you!" He exclaimed. I looked over to Gilbert for help, and I saw him giving Francis a look of irritation. He came up and grabbed the French man's collar and pulled him away from me.

_Thank God!_

"I'm with Matthew, we should be getting to class." He says and smirks.

"Well, Matthew, _you _should be getting to class. I'm skipping. But… seeing how awesome I am, I'll accompany you to your first period class!" He exclaimed, slapping a hand on my back.

Okay, you all should know that this is definitely not part of my daily routine, and I am a bit confused.

I mean, first off, why does Francis want to be friends _now_?

And second, _why the hell did he kiss my hand?_

Ugh. At least I haven't gotten beaten today. Well, so far at least.

I let Gilbert walk me to class, and guess who tagged along?

Yep. You guessed it.

Francis was all over me, and it seemed to make Gilbert pretty irritated. Not sure why though.

"Oh _Mathieu~ _I never noticed how cute you are until recently~ Especially when you blush~" When he said that, I turned a few shades darker. Damn perv.

Gilbert thrust his way between us, (Silently I thanked him.), and he looked over at Francis, making 'shoo' motions with his hand.

"Off you go, Frenchie. I believe your class is _that _way." He pointed in the opposite direction and smirked. In return Francis gave a pouty face. Then he composed himself and smiled at me again. I looked away uncomfortably.

"Okay. I shall see you later at lunch, _mon cher~ _Until then, _au revoir_~!" He bid his farewell and winked at me before turning away and walking away. He waved at a few ladies that passed him. I rolled my eyes.

"Uh, thanks Gilbert, for you know, 'accompanying' me to class. It uh, means a lot." I smiled nervously and put my hand behind my head. Gilbert just grinned.

"No problem. Oh! Before I forget, meet me in the bathroom in this hall after the Pledge of Allegiance, kay?"

Well, okay?

"Why?" I ask him, a bit puzzled. He just laughs.

"So I can get to know you better! Duh! I can't go to your house or anything because of your dumbass brother."

Oh yeah. I forgot to mention Alfred hates Gilbert with a dieing passion. I don't understand how that slipped my mind.

The bell rings and Gilbert grins.

"See you later, Birdie!"

Birdie?

I'll have to ask him about his apparent obsession with birds when I see him again.

He turns away, waving at me from behind. I sigh and walk into class (My geography class). Everyone is seated and no one looks up at me. I walk over to my desk, and then the daily routine starts.

First the morning announcements (I chuckled when the principle slurred his words on accident), then the Pledge, and lastly, roll call. After all of that, I raised my hand and asked to go to the bathroom. Surprisingly, the teacher actually noticed me without a ten minute wait.

_Well, my day has started out pretty well!_

"May I go to the restroom?" I asked politely and the teacher nodded. I got up, grabbed my stuff, and wrote a pass to the bathroom, then went on my way.

Once I got there, I saw Gilbert leaning against the farthest wall. I smiled lightly and walked up to him. He grinned and waved slightly, standing up straight.

"You made it!" He exclaimed, though a bit quietly since he didn't want us to get caught. I nodded and smiled shyly.

"Of course I did." I murmured and chuckled.

Ugh.

God how I hate how I'm so shy.

Hopefully I'll grow out of it.

He just grinned even wider then motioned to the exit.

"Well, we aren't just gunna stand in here all day. That would be totally lame!" He said and laughed lightly. I just tilted my head and gave him a confused look.

"Where are we gunna go…? I mean, won't we get in trouble for skipping?" I asked, a bit confused, and also a little nervous. I had never skipped before!

_Well, is anyone really gunna notice? Probably not. _

Gilbert laughed. Did I say something funny?

"The awesome me is going to take you into town for the day!" He said and looked me up and down, making me blush a little.

"You don't get out much, do you? I never see you anywhere." I sighed.

"Yeah, I thought you were going to say that." I murmured and rested the side of my head in my hand. He just chuckled and took my hand, leading me out of the bathroom.

"We're gunna hit the mall for a bit. This is gunna be awesome! Skipping class with my Birdie!" Oh yeah.

"Where did 'Birdie' come from, Gilbert?" I asked, a puzzled smile on my face. He just looked back at me, his crimson eyes shining.

"It just seems to fit you." He smirked and faced forward, still pulling me along. I blushed lightly and gave a small smile.

_Okay, best day ever by far._

So, we managed to sneak out of the school grounds and were on our merry way to the mall, which was only about twenty minutes away if you're walking, so we got to talk a bit. He had let go of my hand and put both of his arms behind his head. (For an example, it's how that ninja boy, Naruto, always has his hands behind his head. Just thought I'd elaborate.)

I walked silently next to him, looking around. The streets seemed to be less crowded on Monday's.

I never noticed. I wonder why.

Anyway, I guess Gilbert couldn't take the silence, so he began to start a conversation.

"So, Mattie, what grade are you in? I've never seen you."

_Yeah, you've told me._

"I'm a junior." I said. I was sixteen (Going on seventeen). Gilbert beamed.

"Me too! Damn, I wonder why I haven't seen you before! Oh look, we're here!" He pointed towards the mal. I glanced up at it and my eyes widened. It was _huge._

Okay, so, I've never been into this mall before.

The last time I went to mall in general was with my dad.

Let's just say I got lost, and got punished for it later.

_Ugh. Quit thinking of your past, Matthew, and just have fun._

I suppressed a sigh as the memories began to flood back. I tried to stop it. I was supposed to be having fun! I shouldn't be getting emotional!

I stopped walking and Gilbert looked back at me. He gave a confused look and turned towards me.

"You okay, Birdie?" He asked. I just nodded and forced a smile, my eyes dull.

"Y-yeah. Sorry, I just got dizzy for a moment." I lied and Gilbert gave me a disbelieving look, but didn't question me any further. I started to walk again and he followed.

We went in the mall and I gaped at the interior size.

And I thought it was big on the _outside!_

Gilbert saw my face and laughed.

"Never been here before?" He asked, chuckling. I just shook my head. He laughed again and took my hand.

"Let's go into Spencer's!" He started to pull me towards a flashy store. I followed, not knowing what to expect.

We came out of there, Gilbert smiling and laughing, and me as red as a tomato.

_I'm never going in there again…_

That was probably one of the weirdest stores I had ever been in!

There were freaking _DILDOS_ on display!

And people actually checking them out!

Gilbert looked at me, laughed some more, and poked my red cheek.

"What's wrong, Mattie? Never seen a sex toy before?" I shook my head. I was hoping I never would. I sighed and looked at this one store.

_Hot Topic? Sounds a bit suspicious, but for some reason I really wanna go in there…_

I pointed to the Hot Topic store away from us and looked up at Gilbert, my eyes a little pleading. I smiled.

"Can we go in there?" I asked and Gilbert nodded, grinning.

"Yeah. That's one of my favorite stores. Let's go!" He said and this time I grabbed his hand and started to gently pull him towards the store.

When we went in there, I was surprised to hear blasting rock music, and I was also surprised to see a bunch of punk clothes.

I liked this store.

I walked over to a clothes rack and found a pair of black ripped skinny jeans. I held them up to Gilbert to show him, and I smiled brightly.

"I wanna try this on." I said, still smiling. Gilbert smiled and went to go ask one of the employees to open the changing rooms. He came back with an employee and she opened one of the stalls. I walked in with the skinny jeans and closed the door behind me. I took my jeans off and put the skinny jeans on.

What people don't know is that I'm a sucker for punk things. Skinny jeans, colorful hair, chains, rips, you name it. I would never wear any of that though. Alfred's dad would never let me do it. Sadly.

Once I had the pants situated right on me, I walked out of the dressing room, wanting to get Gilbert's opinion. When he saw me he whistled and came up to me.

"_Sexy._ I like it!" I blushed brightly at this and one of the employees just chuckled. I smiled bashfully and looked up at Gilbert, the shine returning to my eyes.

"You think so?" I've never had someone called me sexy before, it made me feel good, in an uncomfortable way.

"Yeah! You should get them!" He suggested and I nodded. They did look nice. I went back into the changing room to change back and I folded the pants up neatly. I reached into my book bag and grabbed my wallet (I carried it around with me everywhere just in case I need it.). I looked inside, remembering that I had a few weeks allowance saved up, plus some extra birthday money from last year. So, basically I had about one-hundred, maybe one-hundred fifty dollars. More than enough for these pants. I walked out and went over to the cashier. She rung up my jeans and I grabbed the bag, looking over to find Gilbert looking at the body jewelry.

_Oh gosh._

I silently chuckled and went to go get him.

"You ready?" I asked him and he nodded. We walked out of the store and Gilbert started going on about the tongue rings he saw. I listened to him happily.

_Like I said, best. Day. Ever._


	5. Chapter 4

_**Oh jeez. This chapter probably sucks, and I'm very sorry in advance for mistakes. A  
>But anyway~<br>Here's chapter 4~  
>This one might be a little weird, considering some of Gilbert's actions.<br>You have been warned. xD**_

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><p><em><em>We continued to walk around some more, going into shops like American Eagle and Abercrombie and Fitch. We even went into The Gap (Who's clothes I find _hideous._). We decided to go into one last store before we left.

JC-Penny.

So, I had never been in here, and Gilbert wasn't too thrilled to go in here, but we went in anyway. (I have some good manipulation powers.)

We walked around a bit, going from section to section. Gilbert made me go towards the bra section, and when he saw my face turn a bright red he snickered. After I convinced him to get away from there, since people would get suspicious, we migrated towards the men's clothes. I gasped at a very nice red-and-black plaid Hoodie, and I picked it out.

"Can I try this on?" I asked him and he looked at it. He smiled and nodded. "Yeah, try it on. I want to see what it looks like on you." He answered and I beamed. We went over to the changing rooms and I went into a the stall farthest from the door. I took off my Hoodie, freezing when I saw my bandaged cuts. I sighed and put on the plaid Hoodie, smiling when I saw how well it fit me. I walked out and looked around for Gilbert. He wasn't out there.

_Where did he go…?_

I looked over to my left and saw him returning with a pair of blue skinny jeans, a black vest, and a white-collared shirt. When He saw me, he grinned.

"That looks very nice on you. You know, you look very Canadian in that." He mused and I chuckled.

"Maybe that's because I _am _Canadian." I giggled and he walked up to me.

"That's so awesome!" He pointed to himself with his thumb.

"But, not as awesome as _my _ethnicity. I'm Prussian!" I widened my eyes and smiled.

"You're right, that is awesome." I murmured and looked down at the pants he had in his arms.

"You gunna try them on?" I asked, looking up at him and smiling. He nodded and walked into the changing rooms. I followed him and went into my own booth, taking off the Hoodie and putting it back on the hanger. Before I put my hoodie back on, Gilbert knocked on my stall door.

"Hey Mattie, come on out! I wanna show you these awesome pants!"

"Hold on." I called a little quietly and grabbed my hoodie, and before I had a chance to put it on, you'll never guess what Gilbert did.

He looked under my stall door.

_What the fuck?_

"G-Gilbert!" I gasped and quickly covered my bandaged arms. He just laughed and gave me an amused stare.

"Haha, come on Birdie! Don't be so shy! You should keep your Hoodie off more often, you look awesome without it!" He exclaimed.

Then he saw the bandages.

"Hey Mattie, what's that?" He pointed at my arms. I turned pale and turned away.

"It's nothing." I murmured. He crawled all the way into my dressing stall and I closed my eyes, waiting for him to say something.

_This is it… I'm about to lose my only friend…_

He gently turned me around and stared at my bandaged arms. He took them gently, and I didn't stop him.

I guessed he would find out sooner or later.

He carefully undid the bandages and his eyes widened.

Tears came to my eyes and one slid down my cheek silently. He looked up at my face and gave me a questioning glance. We were silent for a few moments, then he spoke up.

"Why?" He asked quietly. I looked away from him, not wanting to meet his gaze. He moved my chin up to look at him, though he did it gently.

"Why?" He asked, a bit more sternly. I looked into his eyes, my eyes still watery. Another tear fell.

"It's… difficult to explain…" I whispered and sniffed. He hesitated then nodded, looking down at my arms again. He carefully lifted them, earning a wince from me.

"Sorry." He murmured and looked up at me. I sniffed again and blinked, my eyes pleading. I wanted him to stay, but that probably wasn't going to happen.

"I'm guessing that you're going to leave me now…" I murmured and pulled away, grabbing my Hoodie. He just placed his hand on my shoulder and shook his head.

"No way. I'm not leaving you like this." He said to me and frowned slightly. My eyes widened and I looked up at him.

"R-really?" I asked in a quiet, squeaky voice. He nodded and smiled lightly.

"Yeah. The awesome me can't just leave a poor, defenseless bird to get hurt! Plus, I said I was going to help you, remember?" He smirked.

I was _so _happy! I felt like I was going to explode with joy.

Then, out of instinct, I stepped forwards and hugged him. He grunted in surprise and looked down at me. I had my face buried in his shoulder and my arms wrapped around his torso. He smirked and wrapped his arms around me. I pulled back a moment later, my eyes still a bit teary. I blushed with embarrassment and pulled away.

"S-sorry…" I apologized and Gilbert just laughed.

"Don't worry about it, Mattie." He chuckled and looked in the mirror in the stall.

"Hey, how does this look?" He asked and I looked him over.

He had on the blue skinny jeans, the white shirt with the loose collar, and the black vest. The clothes seemed to have formed into his body shape, making him look, dare I say, very handsome. It was now that I noticed all of his features.

He had beautiful whiteish-silverish hair that reached to the back of his neck and fell down in his face a little. His eyes were a beautiful, shining crimson red, sparkling with confidence. His skin was naturally pale, kind of like a china doll's skin.

Overall, to me, he was _very _good looking.

Oh yeah, something that I probably should have stated before, is that I'm uh… attracted to men. It may seem 'weird', I know, but I can't help it. Women have just never really interested me in that way, and I guess I've always just been a little gay. I never really noticed until recently though. But anyway…

Gilbert saw me staring and he laughed.

"I know I'm hot, but I did ask you a question you know." He laughed and I blushed even more.

"You uh, look very, uh, nice, Gilbert…" I stammered, which made him laugh even more.

"Thanks, Birdie. I'm gunna go change back now." He smiled and opened the stall door, walking out. I sighed and put my hoodie back on. I grabbed my book bag and the other hoodie and walked out. I waited for Gilbert to get done changing, and when he was done, we went to go pay for our stuff. Once we had our stuff paid for, we left the mall and started to walk away, not quite sure where we were going. Then my stomach growled. Gilbert stared down at my stomach and chuckled.

"Hungry, Birdie?" He asked and I nodded, looking away embarrassingly. He smirked and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, causing me to blush.

"Let's go get some pizza!" He exclaimed and we began to walk towards a nearby pizza place.

Once we got there, I smiled. It was a nice, small little pizza place by the name of "Vargas' Pizza Shoppe". Sounded a bit familiar. We walked inside and took a seat at one of the booths against a window. A waitress came and took our order. We ordered a pizza with everything on it. Gilbert likes it that way, and I didn't complain. Though honestly, I didn't like hardly anything that was on there.

_Oh well. I'll eat it anyway._

While we waited for the pizza to come, Gilbert and I started to make small talk. He began to tell me about his little canary he had at home. I believe he said it's name was Gilbird. I thought that was cute.

I also learned that he had a brother, who just so happened to be Ludwig. He said that he and Ludwig used to be close, but they kind of drifted apart. He acted like it was nothing, though. Oh well.

Soon out pizza came and Gilbert dug in, placing three large slices on his plate. I grabbed a slice and began to munch on it. He finished eating in about five minutes, and I was still eating my first slice.

_Goddamn. He eats fast!_

He wiped his mouth off with his sleeve and smiled at me. I smiled back, taking another bit out of my slice. He started to talk to me again after I finished eating and this time apparently it was my turn to share some info.

"So, tell me about yourself, Mattie. I don't hardly know anything about you!" He suggested and I smiled lightly, rubbing the back of my head."Heh, there really isn't much to say about me." I replied and Gilbert leaned over the table a little bit, his eyes sparkling.

"Oh come on, there must be _something _about you that's interesting! Just list off some things about you." He told me and I looked up thoughtfully.

"Well, I'm Canadian, I play hockey, I love animals, and…" He trailed off, trying to think of something interesting.

Got it!

"And I'm uh, adopted." I murmured and smiled nervously.

Okay, I know that wasn't the most interesting thing in the world, but I had to think of something.

Gilbert looked at me, his eyes a little wide.

"So you and Alfred aren't related? By blood I mean." He queried and I shook my head.

"Thankfully we're not." I replied and chuckled. Gilbert just smiled at me.

"You know, you're a lot more awesome than your brother." He complimented and my eyes widened.

No one had _ever _said that to me before!

I almost began to cry, but I stopped myself and smiled brightly instead.

"Th-thanks, Gilbert." I murmured, still smiling. Gilbert just grinned and laid some money down on the table for the waitress. I stared down at it.

"Are you sure you want to pay? I can, if you want," I said and started to dig for my wallet, then Gilberts stopped me.

"No, let me pay. That's what awesome people do! They pay for other people!" He beamed and stood up, motioning for me to come. I hesitantly nodded and stood up, grabbing my stuff. We walked out and started walking again, this time towards the school. I pulled out my phone to check the time. It was three o'clock. About time for everyone to be going home from school. I put my phone away and kept walking, stopping when Gilbert stopped. I gave him a confused look and I saw him staring ahead at someone.

Oh God.

It was Francis.

He started to walk towards us, and once he got to us, Gilbert smiled lightly and waved at him.

"Hey Frenchie. School out already?" He asked, looking around Francis to see if there were any more students. Francis just nodded.

"_Oui, _it actually got out about ten minutes ago." He looked over to me, giving me a fake pouty face.

"_Mathieu, _you weren't at the cafeteria today~ Where were you~?" He asked me, coming towards me. I blushed and looked up at him, meeting his gaze.

"I, uh, skipped school today…" I murmured quietly. He looked at Gilbert with a look that kind of said "Seriously? -_-". Gilbert just snickered and nodded.

"Yeah, me and Mattie went to the mall and just chilled." He backed me up and stood by me. Francis gave an irritated smile and grabbed my hand, gently tugging it.

"Okay, now _Mathieu, _would you like to spend some time with _moi?_ I'm sure we could think of something fun to do~" he suggested and I looked to Gilbert for help. Gilbert stepped up and laid a hand on my shoulder.

"Sorry Francis, I was just taking him home. He said he wasn't feeling too well when we left." He lied and glanced at me, giving me a smirk. France gave a disbelieving frown but turned away.

"Okay, well, hopefully I'll see you tomorrow _Mathieu_~ _Au revoir~!_" He said sweetly and turned away. I looked to Gilbert and frowned a little.

"You seem to not like him a whole lot." At this Gilbert chuckled.

"He's one of my best friends, he just doesn't know how to keep his paws off of nice things." He chuckled and then looked at me with a serious gaze. I looked into his eyes, getting lost in the crimson, so I almost missed what he said.

"Be careful around him, seriously." He told me, then looked away, beginning to walk again. I stared after him for a moment, then quickly caught up to him. We walked in silence, then soon reached my house. My heart sank. I didn't want to go in there. I was afraid of what might happen. I'd have to deal with Alfred and his dad.

I don't know if I can do that.

Gilbert must have noticed that I felt anxious, so smiled brightly, looking like he had an idea.

Oh no.

"Hey! Why don't you spend the night with me tonight!" He exclaimed and I gave him a look of shock.

A sleepover on a school night?

Fine by me.

"A-are you sure, Gilbert?" I asked, baffled. He just chuckled and nodded.

"Of course! I won't let you go back to that hell hole of a house! That would be totally un-awesome!" Then his face grew serious once again.

"Plus, I need to make sure you don't do _that_ again." He murmured, motioning towards my arms. I looked away and frowned a little. He just smiled again and grabbed my hand, tugging me towards the direction of his house.

"Well, we better go ahead and go!" He exclaimed and we began to walk to his house. Surprisingly, it was only about ten minutes away. Huh.

Once we got there, we entered and were greeted by a cheerful Feliciano and a tired-looking Ludwig, both sitting at small table in what I guess what was the living room. The table was scattered with papers and a few textbooks. Feliciano got up and bounced over to us, smiling.

"Veh~! It's Gilbert! And," He looked at me curiously with a quizzical look on his face.

"Who are you?" He asked. I sighed, and before I could say anything, Gilbert cut in.

"This is Mattie." he said and grinned. Feliciano smiled and hugged me tightly, making me blush a bit.

"It's nice to meet you, Mattie!" He beamed, smiling brightly. I just chuckled nervously.

"It's actually, uh, Matthew." I corrected with amusement. He giggled and let go, stepping back. He turned away and walked over to Ludwig, sitting down at one of the chairs provided at the table. Ludwig nodded in acknowledgment to us and he and Feliciano started to work on something. Probably homework.

Gilbert started to tug me along again, this time towards some stairs. I followed him and we went up. He brought me to a small room consisting of a bed, a small couch, a _bunch _of posters (Mostly of bands), and a tall dresser. He led me over to the couch and gestured with his hands to his room.

"This, my friend, is my _awesome _room." He explained, and then looked like he had an idea.

"Oh! Let me show you Gilbird!" He walked over to a corner of his room where there stood a bird cage (I never noticed it), and he carefully took out a bird. A little yellow canary. He brought it over to me and smiled.

"Hold out your hands." he instructed and I did so, cupping them. He then placed a wide-eyed Gilbird into the palm of my hands. The little bird looked me over a few times, then closed its eyes and snuggled into my hands. I smiled lightly and Gilbert cooed.

"Aw! He likes you, Birdie!" He laughed and I just stared at the bird.

_It is pretty cute…_

Gilbert went over to his dresser and pulled out two pairs of what looked like pajama pants. One was a navy blue and the other was red and black checkered. He passed the navy blue one over to me.

"Just change into that whenever." He told me and then began to do something I didn't expect.

He began to take his pants off.

I blushed brightly and closed my eyes tightly.

"Wh-what are you d-doing?" I gasped and turned my head away. He hunched over and laughed, finding this hilarious.

I thought it was pretty awkward.

Especially since I'm gay.

But anyway, Gilbert just finished taking his pants off (Leaving his underwear on, thank _God_.) and he held up his hands.

"What? Never seen a half-naked man before? Francis was right, you sure are new to this!" He laughed and I blushed even more.

This was going to be a long night…


	6. Chapter 5

_**Bluh. Short Chapter. And probably with an expected twist at the end. xD  
>Sorry that I've been inactive! I've had writers block for the past like, week. I couldn't draw anything either. Bummer.<br>But anyway, I'm going to try and make the next chapter longer to make up for this crappy chapter!  
><strong>__**Once again, I'm sorry! And I shall try and update sometime within the next few days~  
>Farewell for now~<strong>_

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><p><em><em>And a long night it was.

After the… interesting moment that included no pants, we basically just hung out in his room. He showed me his guitar, and played a few songs for me. Some were gentle, which made me almost fall asleep since they were so soothing, and some had me almost head banging, they were so awesome!

Then after all of the guitar playing, we began to play some video games.

Cliché I know, but whatever.

We played Halo on his xBox360, and he basically kicked my ass on every level.

I'll improve some day.

After about an hour of getting my ass handed to me, we eventually got bored and Gilbert suggested we go get something to eat. I nodded and we headed downstairs, seeing that Feliciano had gone home and all the lights were off. Everyone must have gone to bed.

We found our way into the kitchen and Gilbert turned the lights on. I blinked at the sudden flash of light and looked at him. He began to rummage through the cabinets, looking for something to make.

"Aha!" He exclaimed quietly and pulled a box of macaroni and cheese out of the pantry. I just chuckled. He set the box on the counter and started to look for a pot to make it in. He found one a few minutes later and started the macaroni and cheese. I looked at the built-in clock on the stove and I was surprised to see that it was almost eleven at night.

_We should probably be going to bed soon…_

While we were waiting for the food to get done, we started talking. Mostly just small talk. We did this until the food was done, then we fixed our plates (Well, bowls, since it was just macaroni.) and we headed upstairs with our food. We walked into Gilbert's room and he closed the door. I looked at him, then down at my bowl.

"Are you sure we can eat up here, Gilbert?" I asked, a little worried. He just nodded and set his bowl down on his nightstand.

"Positive. Well, Grandpa doesn't like it, but he's hardly ever home to care enough anyway!" he joked, but I had a feeling he wasn't completely kidding around.

I took a bite out of my mac-and-cheese, and looked over at Gilbert. He was working on his own bowl of food, when he looked up at me and smirked. I looked away quickly and blushed a little with embarrassment. I set my bowl down on the nightstand and walked over to the small couch where my pajama pants were. I grabbed them and started towards the door.

"I'll be right back, I'm going to change." I told him. Quickly, but quietly, I went out the door, crossed the hallway, and went into the bathroom. I closed the door behind me, sighed and leaned against it.

_Eh… I need to stop staring…_

I stood up straight and look into the small mirror that was placed appropriately above the sink. I grabbed the pajama pants and took off my jeans, then put the pajamas on. I neatly folded up my jeans and took off my shirt. I folded that too, and I walked out of the bathroom. I stopped and looked down the hallway, noticing about two doors on each side of the narrow path. I considered walking over there, looking into each one of the doors to see what would be behind each one, but then I thought better of it. Plus, I didn't want to keep Gilbert waiting.

I walked back into the room and saw Gilbert laying on his bed with his arms over his head. He looked over at me and motioned me over with a turn of his head. I hesitated then walked over to him. He sat up and grabbed my hand, making me blush a little. He pulled me down onto the bed, making me sit next to him.

"Wh-what are you doing?" I stammered, looking into his eyes. I saw worry and something else-something I couldn't describe. Something I had never seen before.

"Okay. Now, since we're alone, can you please tell me why you did _this _to yourself?" He asked quietly, looking down at my bandaged arms. I gulped and looked down at them also.

"Well… I'm not sure how to put it…" I murmured quietly. Gilbert looked up at me, his eyes meeting mine again.

"Just try." I sighed and let my shoulders sag down.

"Okay… well… it uh, started when I was about five years old. My biological father began to uh, hit me. Constantly…" I began to tell him a bit from my past, explaining in great detail how I felt and how it scarred me.

Honestly, I never thought I could do that.

Maybe I should give myself a pat on the back.

Nah.

Anyway, once I got around the part where I moved in with Alfred's family, I began to tear up. The little tears were falling down my face, but my voice never faltered.

I began to explain to him why I cut, and he just listened.

On the outside, I looked like a total wreck.

But on the inside,

I was happy.

Well, more that happy.

I was _ecstatic._

Someone was actually listening to me!

I finished my little story and looked up at Gilbert, waiting for a reply. He had a solemn look on his face, and he seemed to be searching my eyes for something.

Then out of nowhere, he hugged me.

He hugged me tight, and I hugged him back.

For a moment I had stopped crying, but I was going to let it out.

Though, I couldn't. I tried to keep crying, but I couldn't.

A random wave of sorrow washed over me and I pulled away, now beginning to rub at the bandages.

"I need to cut… I need to cut…" I murmured lowly, my voice grave. Gilbert's eyes widened and he grabbed my hands gently, but forcefully.

"No, Matthew. You don't have to." He said briskly. I could tell he was becoming a bit scared. I looked up at him with dull, red-ish eyes (Probably from the crying).

"No, Gil, you don't understand. _I need to cut._" I explained slowly and kind of eerily, He just tightened his grip on my hands.

"_No _Matthew." He said again with a bit more force. That's when I kind of snapped.

I began to jerk around, trying to get him to let go of my hands. My eyes were wide and tears began to pour out again. I began to make grunting noises, still trying to get free.

Then, he must have lost his grip, because I fell off the bed and onto the floor. Before I could do anything, Gilbert quickly got down to the floor and straddled me, pinning my hands down against the floor on either side of me. I stopped thrashing and I sobbed once.

I sobbed twice, then again, then again, and then again, till I just couldn't stop. He tentatively let my hands go, I guess to make sure that I wasn't going to try and grab something. He stayed on top of me, however. I looked up at him with apologetic eyes, still sobbing. He looked back down at me, sympathy showing clear in his eyes. He gently brushed a hand across my forehead, moving the stray hair out of the way, and he helped me sit up.

While he was basically on my lap.

I sat up, then I clung to him. And he held onto me.

We held onto each other as if our lives depended on it.

I was still sobbing, but I had calmed down a bit. Gilbert laid his hand on the back of my head, stroking my hair softly while I cried.

I stopped eventually and yawned lightly. I looked over at the clock and gasped.

_12:30?_

"O-oh my god! I-I'm so sorry for k-keeping you up..!" I stammered, looking up at Gilbert. He just grinned lightly.

"Don't worry, I'm usually not even in bed yet anyway." Then his face grew serious.

"I'll stay awake for as long as I need to, if it means that you're safe." He whispered into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I just nodded lightly and laid my head on his shoulder. He stroked my head one last time, then stood up, motioning for me to go to his bed.

"You on the other hand, look tired as fuck. Let's go to bed." He murmured, a concerned expression on his face. I looked over to the bed and then to him.

"Are we both going to sleep on the same bed?" I asked, a little confused. Did Gilbert not mind sleeping in the same bed with another guy?

He just laughed.

"Well, I _do _like guys, so I don't think it should be a problem." He chuckled, and my face went a bright red.

_G-Gilbert's gay…?_


	7. Chapter 6

_**OHmagawd you guys I'm TERRIBLY sorry that I haven't updated in FOREVER! ;A;  
>First, I had writers block, then I had a computer virus and it wouldn't let me open up Microsoft Word. ; n;<br>But, I'm working on the next chapter now, so hopefully it'll be up faster. Like, A LOT faster. x'D  
>But, like I said, I'm very, very sorry to keep you all waiting. ; w;<br>And this chapter is also a bit short. For some reason it was very difficult to write! :c  
>Reviews would be wonderful~<br>Thank you my dears for being very patient with me! ; w;**_

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><p>Gilbert must have seen my astonishment at his uh, confession, because before I could properly react he began to laugh.<p>

I didn't quite get what was so funny…

"Hahaha! You surprised, Birdie?" He laughed, making me blush even darker. I looked at him and began to fidget a little, now a bit nervous.

Should I tell him that I'm gay too?

Will he even care?

Probably not…

I stayed quiet like this for a few moments, and I guess that made Gilbert a bit worried. Well, from what I saw. He looked a little pale(er) and he looked to the side nervously.

"I uh… you aren't, like, homophobic, are you Mattie?" This took me off guard a bit, and then it was my turn to laugh. He just looked at me, probably a bit puzzled. Frankly, I don't blame him.

I figured now was a good time to tell him.

"Well, if I was, that would make me a bit of a hypocrite, wouldn't it?" I laughed and his eyes took on a confused look. Then they widened. I guess he figured it out.

Took him long enough.

"Mattie, you're gay?" He asked rather loudly. I just smiled nervously and nodded.

"Y-yeah. I have been for as long as I can remember…" I replied, rubbing the back of my head anxiously. He smiled and stood.

"Well, I'm happy to know another homosexual!" Then he looked a bit curious.

"Does anyone else know?" He asked and I shook my head.

"My foster family isn't too keen on the thought of homosexuality. Except for Alfred. He's pretty much like a walking rainbow." I said and sighed. Gilbert laughed at that.

"Yeah, I've seen him flirt with that British kid a bit. Arthur is his name, right?" I shrugged.

"Dunno. I don't really pay attention to who his friends are." I lied.

Now, I'm not a stalker. Really, I'm not! I just, ah, don't really have any friends, you know? So I kinda just observe Alfred and how he communicates with people. I chose him as my subject because everyone seems to like him and he's my brother, so he's easy to get a hold of. Plus, if I observed anyone else in this matter, it would be creepy.

Err, creepier than it probably already is…

But enough talk on that matter.

It looked like Gilbert was going to say something, but I accidentally interrupted him with a yawn. He smirked and sat down on his bed, patting the empty space next to him.

"Now, let's go to bed." He chuckled and I blushed lightly, a bit embarrassed. At myself for interrupting him. I looked at where he was patting and I hesitantly made my way over to the bed. I tentatively laid down, facing away from Gilbert and towards his door.

Gilbert laid down also, facing towards me. He pulled the covers over the two of us and I closed my eyes.

I had almost fallen asleep when Gilbert draped his arm across my bare chest and pulled me close. I gave a tiny squeak, thus making Gilbert chuckle.

"You okay with this, Birdie?" He asked quietly and as weird as this felt, I nodded. He just smiled and brought himself a bit closer. I blushed deeply, but I smiled.

This felt wrong- wait, not wrong. Forget I ever said that.

A better word to describe this was probably _different._ I mean, the only guy I had ever slept in the same bed with was Alfred, and that was a few years ago.

Anyway, he nuzzled his nose lightly into the back of my neck and I sighed quietly, feeling content.

Actually, content doesn't even begin to cover it.

We both fell asleep a little after that, Gilbert still clinging to me. That night I actually had good dreams.

That day could _not _have been better.

Sadly, morning came and we had to get up and haul ourselves to school. I woke up first (Seeing as Gilbert isn't what you would call an 'early bird') and I slowly crept out of his still-ever-so-firm grip on my waist. Not before waking him up of course. I silently cursed at myself for waking him up, but he just smiled groggily.

"Mornin' Birdie." He murmured and covered his face with his arm. I smiled lightly and stood, stretching my arms above my head.

"Good morning." I said quietly and looked at him. I noticed he was smirking and I tilted my head.

"What?" I asked him. He just snickered.

"Well, it's kind of hard _not _to stare at that body of yours, especially when you're flaunting it." He said so matter-of-factly, earning a blush from me.

"S-sorry…" I murmured and he just laughed. He stood up and walked over to his dresser, opening a drawer and pulling out a few clothes. He glanced back at me.

"You need clothes?" He asked and I shook my head. I still had the clothes that I bought at the mall.

"No thanks, I have some." I replied and went over to the couch, where my stuff was conveniently located. I pulled out my jeans and hoodie from the shopping bags, and I picked up the shirt I wore yesterday. I'll definitely have to wash it later…

I walked out of his door, down the hallway, and over to the bathroom, where a shirtless Ludwig was brushing his teeth. Luckily, he didn't notice me, so I had time to retreat. I speed-walked back to Gilbert's room and noticed he was shirtless as well. I blushed and sighed, hanging my head.

_Why… why must this house be full of hot shirtless men? _

It was times like this where I wish I wasn't a homosexual.

Gilbert just gave me a confused look and chuckled.

"Ludwig's hoggin' the bathroom, huh? Just change in here." He told me. He snickered and turned away, holding up his hands next to his head.

"I won't look~" He laughed and I glared at him.

"Fine, I'll change in here.." I murmured and went over to the couch (The only well hidden spot away from the door.) and I put my shirt on from yesterday. After that I carefully pulled down my pants (As to not pull my boxers down as well.). I groped around the shopping bags for my new skinny jeans and smiled when I felt the fabric of the jeans. I pulled them out, and slipped them on. I was buttoning them when I noticed Gilbert had finished getting dressed and was peering over at me. I blushed lightly and focused intently on getting this button done. Once I was finished with that, I pulled on my new hoodie and zipped it up. I stopped when I heard shuffling, and I looked over at Gilbert. He was walking over to me, a frown on his face.

"Is something wrong?" I asked and he shook his head. He gently took my arms in his hands.

"Are you gunna be okay today?" He asked softly, something I found a bit peculiar. I just nodded and gave a small smile.

"Yeah, I'll be fine today." Gilbert didn't seem to believe me. His grip around my arms tightened, but only slightly.

"You promise?" I hesitated, then I nodded.

"I promise." He grinned and let go, now seeming satisfied. I sighed quietly and went over to the couch to grab my shoes.

We spent the rest of the morning doing mundane morning rituals. Eat breakfast, brush our teeth, make sure we have all of our stuff, and then we head to school. Today we decided to take the bus.

It went well for the most part, to be honest. Normally the busses are full of stupid hosers that have no respect for other people's personal space (I.e., they sit on you.) .

Thankfully, we were the last stop so we went straight to the school.

Once we got off the bus, Gilbert saw a few of his friends and told me he'd catch up with me at lunch. I had said okay and headed into the building, and over to the closest bathroom.

I hope you're not thinking that I'm going to cut myself. Jeez…

I went in there and I started to comb through my hair with my fingers.

Hey, I forgot to brush my hair this morning, okay!

Anyway, the bell rang and I ran out of that bathroom, then to my first class. And then the usual routine began.

I came in a few minutes late (Teacher didn't notice), did my class work, and this continued for the next two class periods.

And yes, I did end up late for _all _of those classes, because they were all on opposite ends of the school.

Man, if I could get any luckier, I'd win the lottery.

… to find out the prize was just a can of soup.

Anyway, lunch came by, and I walked into the cafeteria.

"Oh! _Mathieu~ _Come sit with us _mon cher~!_" I groaned inwardly and turned to see Francis waving at me. At his table was Gilbert, Antonio, England, Romano, and someone I didn't want to see.

Alfred.

My stomach clenched and I slowly walked over to the table. I kept my gaze off of Alfred, but I could feel him staring at me.

_Ugh… _

I cautiously sat down, and then Francis was all over me in an instant. Well, no one seemed to notice. Alfred and Arthur were arguing about something (It sounded like something along the lines of "Nooo Arthur, I won't eat that shit you brought me today!" and "You ungrateful git!"), Spain and Romano were basically flirting.

Not like I'd ever say that out loud though. I don't want to get on Romano's bad side.

And as for Gilbert, well, let's just say that he was preoccupied with a certain Austrian boy and his girlfriend. I don't know why, just, don't ask.

Anyway, out of nowhere, Francis leaned up close to my ear. He was so close to me I could smell his… perfume? Wait, what?

"_Mathieu_, I was wondering, would you like to come over sometime this week~? Maybe today, if it is convenient~" He asked in a whisper, and I felt my face go red. Like, _really _red. I didn't really know how to reply to this. So, naturally, I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"W-why?" I whispered, my voice a bit squeaky. He just chuckled and scooted a bit closer to me.

"I want to get to know a you more, _mon cher! _Is that such a bad thing?" He made a fake pouty face and chuckled again. I gulped and shook my head.

"I uh, y-you see, I have some stuff to do later, s-so I won't be able to come over today… s-sorry!" I nervously laughed and Francis gave me a disbelieving look.

Well, it's not like I lied to him. I really do have stuff I gotta do later!

'Like what?' you may ask.

Well, first I've gotta clear up the awkwardness between me and Alfred. Then I have to confront my dad.

And then, I have to work on the ever glorious make-up work I have to do from the previous day that I missed.

All of that, and I _really _didn't want to go to Francis's house.

I politely excused myself from the table, seeing as Francis was starting to cling to me a bit again, and I walked out of the cafeteria. Before I exited, I looked back to make sure that Francis wasn't following me, and I saw Gilbert staring at me with an apologetic glance. I smiled lightly and turned away, going into the hallway.

I felt like such a rebel lately. First, I skip school with a notorious bad boy. Then, I kind of ran away, and then lastly, I'm out roaming the halls when I'm not supposed to.

God, I am so _bad! _It feels so cool!

Ahem, sorry about that. New experiences and all. You know the deal.

Anyway, I made my way into the closest bathroom and looked into the mirror. I set my book bag down on the floor next to me and I rolled up my sleeves. I stared at my arms for a while, just thinking.

_Maybe… maybe I should stop doing this… I don't want to freak anyone else out… but what else can I do? _

I stood there for a minute thinking deeply, before I was interrupted by someone stepping in the bathroom.

Oh jeez.

It was Antonio.

Now, I didn't want any trouble. But, since this was Antonio there was probably going to be some. I quickly pulled my sleeves down, grabbed my bag, and went to the door, attempting to leave.

Emphasis on _attempting. _I kinda failed.

Antonio stood in the way and I stared up at him with wide, scared eyes. His eyes were cold, not bright and playful like they usually were, and he had a smirk on his face. He was staring down at my sleeves.

_Fuck… really?_

I sighed inwardly as he stared at my arms for about another moment. Then, he abruptly grabbed them and I gasped. He must have broken some skin, because the longer he held on, the more blood was starting to show through the jacket. Tears started to come to my eyes again, but I determinedly held them back. I wasn't about to cry now!

Antonio just snickered.

"So, _emo boy_, this is what you do in your spare time?" He laughed and I looked away. His grip around my arm tightened dramatically and I softly cried out. He just laughed.

"Damn, you're pathetic. We all know you have problems, but this, this is just funny!" He must have found this hysterical, because then he started laughing again.

Okay, now, I think it's okay to cry.

The tears started to fall and this just seemed to make Antonio more amused.

"So now you're gunna cry after a few words?" He mused, and kind of threw me into the mirror, though not breaking it. I gasped and fell to the floor. I began to tremble slightly and he just scoffed.

"Like I said, pathetic. Why don't you do us all a favor and go die already?" He said coldly, and then he exited the bathroom.

I stared after him for several moments, still trembling. The only sounds that I could hear were the sounds of my ragged breathing and quiet sobs.

_I can't… I can't do it anymore!_

I let out a soft yell and turned to the side, lifted my hand, and I smashed it into the mirror, shattering the mirror into dozens of shards. The shards began to rain down on me, and I could feel my hand stinging.

And, as soon as I did that, the bell rang.

_Shit… someone might see me, and I'll get in trouble for breaking this…_

The thought came to my mind, but I didn't move.

Someone must have heard the glass shatter, because someone came running into the bathroom. I didn't recognize them, and they seemed to be scared shitless. They started to yell something, but I wasn't paying attention. The pain in my arms and hands began to be too much, and the blood loss was making me dizzy. I gave the stranger a helpless look before I blacked out completely.

But, before I blacked out, the last thing I saw was someone else come into the bathroom (They probably heard this stranger yelling). And that someone else was Alfred.

_Oh dear… he looks scared…_


	8. Chapter 7

_**Yay! This chapter was up A LOT faster than the last one! xD**_  
><em><strong>This one is a bit more happy. I think. I hope. :U<br>And this one I actually like writing, even though it's kinda short. ; w;  
><strong>__**Anyway, here you go my dears!**_

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><p>Memories started to flow through my mind as I was unconscious. Memories of me and my dad, of me and Alfred and his dad, and also some recent memories like the ones with Gilbert. I remembered when I lay in his bed, his arm draped around me. Suddenly, I could hear him whispering.<p>

_Mattie. Mattie._

Gilbert? No, it didn't sound like him. Though, it did sound familiar.

_Mattie. Mattie. _

_Let him sleep. He'll wake up eventually._

_But I want to make sure he's okay!_

Wait, who was there?

I slowly opened my eyes, a blinding light being the first thing I saw. I blinked against it and looked around. I was in a hospital room, lying on some sort of bed. I looked at my arm and I saw that I was hooked up to an IV. It was also covered in bandages that reached from my wrist all the way up to my shoulder. The other arm was wrapped the same way. Then, I saw Alfred talking to who I presumed was the doctor.

"He'll be okay. There was a lot of blood loss, but he'll be fine. Now, if you want, you can wait here until he wakes up. But, let him wake up on his own." I heard the doctor say. I got a good look at the doctor. Middle-aged, gray hair, and a gruff voice which was anything but reassuring. I could tell by the look on Alfred's face.

Wait, Alfred was here! Why was he here? Surely he didn't really care too much about me.

Plus, why was I in a hospital? What hap-

Oh wait.

Now I remember. I sighed silently and no one looked at me. Soon, the doctor left and Alfred walked over to my bed, taking my hand carefully. He slowly turned it over, exposing the fresh bandages wrapped all the way up my arm. I looked at him with my eyes half-closed. He didn't notice I was awake.

"Al…" I whispered hoarsely and his eyes shot up to meet mine. And there was something there that really took me by surprise.

Tears.

He was crying!

"Oh Mattie… I'm so sorry… I should never have left you. I'm such a horrible brother…" He sobbed quietly and laid his head down on the bed, his hand still gripping my hand. I stared at him for a while, not responding. I didn't know whether I should forgive him or not. I mean, I had every right not to! But, he was my brother, and I knew I couldn't stay mad at him.

"I-it's okay, Al. Really." I murmured gently, trying to get him to stop crying. I really did hate to see him like this. He just shook his head and sat up, his eyes meeting mine once again. In his eyes I could see sorrow and a bit of anger.

"No, Matthew, it's not okay. I walked away from my brother when I found out he hurt himself! I should have stayed. I should have talked to you! I just… I didn't know how to react! You just always seemed so calm and collected! I would have _never _guessed that you cut yourself!" He exclaimed, though with an inside-voice, since I guess he didn't want to get kicked out. His eyes were wide and distressed. Then they got kind of dark.

"Does dad know?" He asked quietly, his tone hushed and kind of dark. I hesitated, then nodded.

"Y-yeah… He didn't take it too well…" I whispered and looked away. Alfred just nodded.

"The doctor came in before you woke up. He told me that dad was on his way. He must be really worried…" He murmured, trailing off. I groaned and then something came to my mind.

_Does Gilbert know where I am?_

"Al, does… does Gilbert know where I am?" I asked cautiously, remembering that he and Gilbert weren't what you would call "BFF's". Alfred just looked at me with a mixture of shock and confusion.

"Hell if I know. Wait… why?" He asked and I sighed.

"Because, he's my friend. And he worries about me. I hope he knows that I'm okay…" I mumbled the last part to myself and closed me eyes. Alfred just kept staring at me.

"Is… is that where you were last night? You never came home…" He asked, a bit suspicious. I slowly nodded.

"Yes. I spent the night at his house."

"How come you didn't come home?" He asked quietly. I looked him in the eyes, my gaze (Hopefully) intense.  
>"Because, I couldn't go home to a family that probably didn't care that I had cut myself." I looked away, then smiled a little.<br>"And Gilbert welcomed me with open arms. It was just an offer I couldn't refuse." Alfred looked like he was about to burst into tears again.

_Dammit… I should have chosen my words more carefully…_

"Mattie… I…" He trailed off and I looked at him again, waiting for him to finish. More tears were running down his face.

"I-I promise, this will never happen again. I will always be here for you, and I want you to know that." He whispered, his voice cracking a little. I gave him a disbelieving frown, but said nothing. Alfred looked like he was gunna say something, but then there was a knocking at the door. It was the doctor. He came back in and motioned behind him. Someone else came in too.

It was Alfred's dad.

And boy, did he look upset.

Now, not upset in the angry way. More like distressed. Yeah, that's a better word for it. He looked distressed.

He walked up to my hospital bed slowly, taking in the sight of my bandaged arms and all the tubes hanging off of me. The doctor began to explain why I was here, and Alfred's dad listened carefully, his facial expression twisting into one of shock and worry.

"As I said to your son, he has lost a lot of blood. Not all together, but probably because the cutting was done in large amounts in a small amount of time, plus when he broke the mirror and cut himself then. But, if we keep him here for a day or two to keep an eye on him, I'm sure he'll be fine." He said in a professional-I-see-this-too-often way, and Al's dad just nodded. The doctor said he'd be back in about twenty minutes to check up on me, then left, leaving me, Al, and his dad together. No one spoke for the first few minutes, and then Al's dad spoke up.

"Matthew…" he started, and looked into my eyes. His eyes were a light hazel, so different from Alfred's. I guessed at Alfred has his mom's eyes. Before he could speak again, I interrupted him.

"I know what you're going to say. And although I'm sitting here in a hospital and probably worrying you to death, I'm not sorry for what I did." Okay, this took his Dad by surprise. One for Matthew.

"I mean, yeah, I wish it hadn't resorted to _this,_" I gestured to the room. "But I'm not sorry that I cut myself. Or that I didn't come home. I'm not sorry that I'm depressed and have no friends, because it can't be helped. And I'm not going to apologize for something that I can't change." I stated quietly, my voice mixed with emotions. Alfred's dad just hesitated, then nodded.

"I understand." He spoke, his voice deep. "But, we aren't going to allow this to happen again. Now, I'm not punishing you. That's the last thing I want you to think. Right now, I'm going to help you. I'm going to help and with work with you to get you to stop cutting, and help with your depression." He gently took my hand. "We'll get through this." He spoke softly and I could tell he was being sincere.

Okay, this whole sentimental-family moment is just under the league of stuff I'm not, and probably never will be used to, so I started to tear up, the little salty drops running down my cheek. I smiled lightly and sat up slowly, bringing Al's dad into a hug. "Thank you." I whispered and smiled. I felt another pair of arms slip around us, and I guessed they were Al's.

I was right.

"Yeah Mattie, we're going to get through this." He whispered, almost choking on his words. I guess my little speech got to him. Who knew Alfred had a soft side?

The family reunion didn't last long, because Al and his dad had to leave after the doctor came back. Visiting times would be in another few hours. After our goodbyes were told, a nurse came in and brought me some pills. I just stared at them.

"What are these for?" I asked her and she just gave me a small smile.  
>"For the pain. Your arms must hurt really badly." She gave me a sympathetic frown and I shook my head, giving a small smile at her thoughtfulness.<p>

"No, they don't hurt too much, but I'll take the pills so I can keep it this way." I said to her and took the pills, swallowing them down with some water. I looked up at her and she was about to leave. "Oh! Miss?" I called out quietly, surprised she heard me.

"Yes?"

"Do you uh, know when they're gunna serve dinner?" And to accompany my question, my stomach growled rather loudly. She just smiled.

"Dinner is at five." She said before heading out. I grabbed the TV remote that was conveniently placed next to me, turned the TV on, and checked the time. It was four-thirty. I sighed and decided that I more than likely wouldn't die within the next thirty minutes, so I got comfy and switched to the sports channel, where a heated hockey game was taking place.

How I managed to keep quiet through that game, I will never know. I felt like cheering and the booing and hissing, but I wasn't at home so I kept my mouth shut and cursed out the referee in my head instead. Five o'clock came fast and the same nurse came in with a tray of food. Some water, a ham-and-cheese sandwich, a small salad, some strawberry yogurt, sliced peaches, and a small brownie for dessert.

_Wow, it's as if they want me to become fat. Oh well._

The nurse set the tray on the rolling table next to my bed and asked me if I was alright. I said yes and she left, leaving me to my food. I carefully reached over and grabbed my brownie first.

Yeah, I'm eating the dessert first.

I started to nibble on it, and then focused on the TV again. Then, there was a knock at my door. The doctor came in again with his clip board. I glanced behind him to see if anyone was coming, but no one came. He grabbed a stool from over near the sink and rolled it over to the side of my bed. He sat down and started scribbling on his clipboard real quick. Then, he looked to me, giving me a smile.

"Hello, Matthew. I would like to ask you a few questions about your… situation." I nodded and frowned, not really wanting to talk about 'my situation'. Bu, he _was _the doctor and he needed to know this stuff, so I complied.

"Sure. Shoot." I told him and he gave me a small smile. He looked down at his clipboard, scribbled a few things, and then began to ask me questions.

"Now Matthew, when did you start to harm yourself?" He asked, looking up at me. I looked up thoughtfully, trying to remember.

"Let's see… I was about maybe… thirteen? So that was about four years ago…" I murmured and the doctor nodded, scribbling away on his clipboard again. This twenty-question thing went on for about twenty minutes. Twenty very uncomfortable minutes. He basically just asked me stuff like 'Where did you cut?', 'How often did you cut?', and he had me explain my family life. I told him that my family life now was good (which I'm not going to lie, it is a fairly good life for a kid who had gotten out of his abusive father's home), and I told him everything from start to finish. He just sat there and listened, and after I was done, he scribbled on his clipboard again. He gave me a smile small and stood.

"Thank you for answering my questions, Matthew. I will come check on you in little bit." He said and before he left, he stopped, alert. I was confused, so I listened to see if anything was going on.

"What in the name of-"

"Come on lady! Just let me see him!"  
><em>Gilbert!<em>

"No sir, you just have to wait ten more minutes. It won't be long-" I heard a nurse try and reassure him, but then Gilbert must have retorted with a frustrated sigh.

"Fine, fine, I'll wait ten more minutes." He growled and I heard the sound of someone plopping down onto a chair outside of my room. I had a good feeling it was Gilbert. The doctor walked out cautiously and spoke to the nurse real quick, then left. I gave an amused smile and set my attention back onto the game, trying to pass the time. I really wanted to see Gilbert, but I knew the nurse wouldn't let me see him just yet.

_And this damn referee isn't helping. Hey, that was a foul!_

The ten minutes went by slowly. _Very _slowly. The game came to an end and I heard a nurse go up to Gilbert saying he could see me. I heard a chair slide and Gilbert busted into my room, followed by a scolding from the nurse. He ignored it, of course. He rushed over to me, kneeling down next to me on the floor.

"Mattie! Oh God…" He looked over my bandaged arms, then he brought his sad eyes up to my face.

"You said you were gunna be okay…" He murmured, his eyes boring into mine. It took all I had not to look away.  
>"I-I guess I just… snapped…" I wasn't about to tell him about Antonio. They were best friends, and I didn't want to make things complicated. He sighed and took my hand gently in his.<p>

"I can't believe it got this bad… But they're gunna help you, Mattie." He gave me a sad smile.

"You won't have to be sad anymore." I smiled at this, tears coming to my eyes. Instead of fighting them, I let them run slowly down my cheeks,

"Y-yeah…" I whispered, gripping his hand gently. He smiled at me, and then smirked, trying to lift the mood.

"Besides, you have the awesome me to help you out with that! With my help, you'll be better in no time!" He boasted, smirking widely. I chuckled.  
>"I'm sure." I replied, giving him an amused smiled. He beamed back at me, then his face grew soft.<p>

"But seriously Mattie, you really scared me today. Francis came up to me and said that they took you away in an ambulance. God… I just…" he looked away, his face twisted in anger and sadness.

"I just… I should have been there for you! I shouldn't have let you leave…" He murmured forcefully. He seemed very upset at himself.

I have _no _idea why the sight made me so sad. It wasn't his fault! I tightened my grip on his hand slightly and he looked up at me. I gave him a reassuring smile, a tear gliding down my cheek.

"Gilbert, don't… don't worry about me, okay? I'll be fine, I promise." He frowned and stood, coming close to me. And before I could ask what he was doing, he brought me into a hug.

"Matthew Williams. You're so selfless." He whispered, his face close to my ear. I blushed lightly.

"You need to let other people help you every once in a while. Not everyone's against you, you know." He told me and more tears ran down my cheeks. I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face into his shoulder.

"That's a bit hard to believe, Gil." I whispered, my voice a bit croaky.  
>"Just remember, I'm always on your side." He whispered, and pulled back, looking into my eyes. I blushed a little more, feeling something unexpected. My heart beat sped up a little at the way he looked at me. My grip on his shirt tightened slightly. And at that moment, I had a realization.<p>

_I like Gilbert._


	9. Chapter 8

_**... I like this chapter. w  
><strong>__**Also, it's kinda weird when I type stuff about his foster dad, because whenever I picture him, I think of Bella's dad off of Twilight for some reason. xD**_  
><em><strong>But anyway, I have a feeling some of you might enjoy this chapter~ w<strong>_

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><p>Gilbert stayed a while and we mostly just made small talk. He talked about how Francis had hit on this girl at school, and how she rejected him and kicked him in his you-know-what. He laughed as he explained how Francis had doubled over in pain, his face red. I chuckled, agreeing that it must have been quite a sight. He nodded. Then, he started to look around, and upon finding the remote, he changed the channel to football. I scotched over so he could sit on the bed with me (Though I'm fairly positive that wasn't allowed), and he smiled, climbing in next to me. He cheered quietly every time his team made a touchdown and booed silently every time the other team scored. I wasn't too into football, but I went along with it, mostly just enjoying Gilbert's company. The time for him to go came too soon, and the nurse came in telling he had to go. I was getting a bit sleepy from the pills anyway. He pouted a little, then smiled at me.<p>

"I'll be here first thing tomorrow to check on you, okay Birdie?" He beamed and I nodded, smiling softly.

"Yeah, that would be cool." I murmured. He brought me into a gentle hug and left, waving flirtatiously at one of the nurses as he passed by her. I rolled my eyes as the nurse made a disgusted face, returning to her work. I chuckled and looked up at the clock. It was eight o'clock, and about time I head to bed. The nurse checked on me before I fell asleep and turned my light off. I got comfy, laying on my side, and fell asleep to the sound of the TV droning on in the background.

_I can't wait to see Gilbert in the morning._

It was very difficult to wake up in the morning. That medicine really works, let me tell you. Well, it helps with sleep. The pain wasn't too bad before, and the medicine did help for a little while, but I woke up and I felt like my cuts were on fire. It hurt so bad, I almost started crying.

I would say that means something, but then again, I cry a lot.

The nurse came in and replaced that bandages, then gave me some more medicine. After I took it, she left and came back with some breakfast. Some toast that still felt very much like regular bread, some scrambled eggs, an orange, a small box of Frosted Flakes, milk (I presumed was for the cereal), and some orange juice. I thanked her and ate my cereal (Which was _disgusting _by the way), and I ate my orange. I was pretty much stuffed after that, so I set the tray aside and checked the time. It was almost nine-thirty.

_Visiting is at ten, so Gilbert should be here in about thirty minutes. _

The thought made me giddy. I couldn't wait to see him!

Momentarily distracted, I didn't notice the doctor slip in.

"Matthew?" He called softly and I turned toward him.

"Yes?" I asked and he gave a small smile.

"Good news. We're going to keep you here for one more night, and then you're free to go." He told me, and I felt so relieved. Man, I could not wait to get out of here!

"But, I do need to speak with your father about how things will probably be when you get home. I expect there will be some changes, yes?" He lifted an eyebrow and I nodded. Then he smiled widely.

"Excellent! I've already called your father, and he will be here momentarily." He explained and left, waving. I nodded and slumped back, looking up at the TV. Some weird game show was on, and everyone was in costumes.

_God, America is weird…_

Thirty minutes went by fast, and Al's dad was the first to come. He walked in and sat down in a chair next to my bed. He looked at me and gave a small smile.

"How are you feeling today, Matthew?" He asked and I smiled back softly.

"I'm feeling a bit better. I'm in a little bit of pain, but I'll live." I said to him and he nodded. Then came the awkward five-minute silence while we waited for the doctor to come back. He came in all smiles and greeted Al's dad with a handshake and sat down. And once again, he had his clipboard.

"Now, Mr. Jones, I would like to talk to you about Matthew," He gestured to me.

"He can go home tomorrow if he feels he is ready, but I want to make sure that we establish a few new rules." He started and I groaned inwardly. Al's dad just nodded.

"First, for Matthew's safety, I would like you to try and get rid of anything hazardous in your home. Knives, firearms, possibly even rope. Well, just keep them out of Matthew's grasp, okay?" He gave a small smile and Al's dad nodded again, looking at me. I gave a tiny nod and sighed lightly.

The doctor told us that we should try and contact a therapist, which Al's dad agreed to, but we didn't really have the money to spend on a shrink at the moment. So I just assumed that we weren't going to do it. Plus, I didn't like therapists anyway. Then, he talked about trying to get me to open up to my family and friends a little, and I agreed with that. It was definitely something I was going to work on. After that, the doctor left but my dad stayed a little while. We kind of had a heart-to-heart about things, and needless to say, tears were shed. Yet again.

Eventually he had to leave, and he gave me a small hug. Then he left, leaving me to my awkward game shows. That is, until Gilbert showed up.

Gilbert walked in, coming straight over to me. He smiled and brought me into a tight hug, seeming to forget the fact I was in a hospital.

"Hey Mattie! How are you feeling today?" He murmured into the hug, his face right next to my ear. I blushed lightly, not used to him being so close (Which was a surprise, considering how much he normally clung to me when we were alone.), and I gave him a small smile.

"Today is a bit better." I decided not to tell him about the slight pain, considering the fact that it was small and I didn't want to worry him. He grinned and pulled back. I had to restrain myself from bringing him back in. Man, I wish I didn't have feelings for Gilbert. It makes things a lot more difficult. More so for me than for him, because, lets face it, he doesn't feel the same way, sadly.

"When are you going home?" He asked.

"Tomorrow." I answered and his grin increased in size.

"Awesome!" Then his eyes grew softer, less excited.

"Are you coming back to school?" He asked quietly and I shook my head.

"Probably not for another week or so." I replied, giving a small smile. Gilbert just shrugged.

"More time to spend with you, then." he smirked and I could feel myself blush. I gave a small, bashful smile.

"Yeah." I answered, and we began to talk. Mostly about what's been going on with Gilbert and his friends. He insisted that we talk about me for a little bit, but I didn't really want to get into that, and Gilbert didn't push it. We basically talked and laughed like that until he had to leave. Then we said our good-bye's and Gilbert gave me one last hug before he left. After he left, the nurse that had come in looked to me and asked, smiling, "Is that your boyfriend?" and I just chuckled.

"I wish."

The rest of the day went by slowly. I couldn't wait to get home and back to my own bed! And I couldn't wait to get in the shower. I felt so nasty just sitting in this bed for several days.

Alfred and his dad came to visit for about an hour. Me and Alfred were talking a little about what's been going on with him. As with Gilbert, he wanted to hear about me, but I did the same thing to him as I did with Gilbert. I said I didn't want to talk about me, but he was a bit more persistent. He frowned at me.

"Mattie, not talking about how your feeling and other things is exactly what got you into this mess!" He exclaimed and I sighed and gave in.

"Fine. If you must know, I've been doing better." This didn't seem to please him.

"And…?" He said slowly gesturing with his hands for me to continue. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

"And the hospital food is making me feel like I need to get my stomach pumped, and I can't wait to get out of here," I smirked.

"Tomorrow." Alfred smiled widely and fist-pumped the air.

"Yes!" he exclaimed and a nurse poked her head in and told him to shush. He just gave an amused smile and turned back to me.

"Are you excited to come home?" He asked me and I nodded.

"Absolutely. I can't wait to take a shower." I answered and Alfred laughed.

"Of course you would be excited about taking a shower. Only you, Mattie." he chuckled.

Our conversations stayed light for the rest of his stay, and once he left, dinner came and once I was done with that, I headed to sleep, excited for tomorrow.

As much as I was looking forward to the next day, I was actually a bit down when it came. My sleep had been horrible at best. I kept having nightmares and I woke up every other hour, so when it was time for me to get up and get ready to leave, I could barley get out of bed. One of the nurses came in and made sure I had gotten up, and once she finally got me out of bed, she left me to get my stuff ready. Well, I didn't really have any stuff. Just some sanitary wipes the hospital let me use to clean myself with since I couldn't bathe properly, and my clothes that I had from the first day I was here. I changed into those, thankful to be out of the revealing hospital gown, and I waited for Alfred to come get me. His dad had to work early today, but he would see me around three when he got off. After Al picked me up and we went home, I plopped down on the couch, not even bothering to take a shower like I wanted, and I fell asleep.

I woke up a few hours later, just in time for lunch. Nightmares had come back in my nap, but this time I couldn't just wake up from them. I felt even more exhausted than before I fell asleep, but I wasn't about to go back to sleep. I groggily sat up, rubbing my eyes.

"Well, look who finally woke up." I jumped when I heard a familiar voice.

"Gil?" I squeaked and he laughed, getting up from where he was sitting and walked over to me.

"Hey, Mattie." he greeted, grinning at me. I blushed a little in embarrassment and smiled lightly.

"H-hey Gilbert." I said to him and stood up slowly. Then, confusion set in.

"Where's Al?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. He shrugged.

"Dunno. Guess he had to go back to school or something. He asked me to keep an eye on you." He smirked and my eyes widened a little. I was surprised that Al actually asked _Gilbert _to watch over me. But whatever. He looked around and I remembered he had never been in my house before. I figured I should be polite and show him around.

"Do you want a tour, or something?" I asked and he grinned, nodding.

"Sure, why not?" He replied and I smiled. I showed him our kitchen and dining room, then I took him upstairs and showed him the bathrooms and bedrooms, saving mine for last. I brought him in there and closed the door behind us. It was then I noticed how dull my bedroom was compared to Gilbert's. His had posters and a whole bunch of knick-knacks, and mine just had your basic furniture and a small TV. Even my comforters were boring! Stupid sky blue blankets…

Gilbert took no notice to this though, and grinned when he looked around.

"Nice room, Birdie." He commented and I smiled, a little relieved.

"Thanks." I replied and went over to sit on my bed. He moved around my bedroom and checked out some of the tiny, mundane things I had scattered throughout my room. He stopped at a picture of me, my real mom, and my real dad. He picked it up carefully and went over to me.

"Who are these people?" He asked, looking at me with curious eyes.

"Those are my real parents." I answered, then his face took on a puzzled look.

"I thought you hated them?" He asked and I nodded.

"I do, but my mom wasn't so bad, and this is the only picture of me and her together." I answered and Gilbert nodded in understanding. While he examined the picture in the frame, I examined him. I took notice of all of his beautiful features. His silvery-white hair, which shined in the light of my bedside lamp, his crimson red eyes which were also glowing, but with their own emotions. His slender, yet muscled body that you could see rippling through his somewhat-tight shirt. Gosh, this man was just so… handsome. Eventually, he caught me staring and he smirked at me.

"See something you like, Mattie?" He asked and winked. I blushed brightly and shook my head, even though it was probably obvious that I was lying. "N-no! I-I just…" I stammered and he leaned down, right in front of me, and might I add, _very _close.

"Are you _sure _Mattie?" He whispered, his face right in front of mine. My blush darkened and I didn't shake my head, nor did I nod. I just stayed still with my eyes wide. His smirk widened.

"I thought so." he whispered and leaned forward, now even closer. Our noses touched, then he spoke up again.

"May I?" He asked quietly, and I knew exactly what he meant by the question.

He wanted to kiss me.

I nodded slightly, waiting for him to break the distance between us, and sure enough, he did. At first, his lips only brushed mine, then they pressed against mine gently. He tilted his head, trying to gain more access, and I did the same. We closed our eyes and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He wound his arms around my waist and leaned into the kiss a little more.

Eventually, we broke apart to breath and he smiled at me.

"Well," He started, grinning at me.

"That was nice. I never thought you would let me do that, Birdie." I just smiled lightly.

"I never thought you would do that in the first place, Gil." I replied and his grip around my waist tightened slightly.

"Matthew…" he started and I looked into his eyes, violet meeting red.

"I think now would be a good time to say that… that I've kinda had a crush on you for a while." he whispered, blushing lightly. My eyes widened a little.

"S-same here…" I whispered and Gilbert's grin widened. He leaned in for another kiss, though this time it was more passionate. It surprised me a little, but I soon got over the initial shock and kissed him back with just as much passion. He gently ran his tongue along my bottom lip, and I guessed this was a sign he wanted me to open my mouth, so I did. He smirked into the kiss and cautiously slid his tongue into my mouth. I had to keep from squeaking in surprise. I had never been this close to anyone, let alone kissed anyone. Especially like this.

I unwrapped my arms and cupped his neck, leaning in for more, my tongue dancing with his. His grip around my waist tightened and he leaned me against the bed. So basically, we were in a pretty compromising position, but neither of us cared. The only thing we really seemed to notice at the moment was each other.

And that was good enough for us.


	10. Chapter 9

**...Hey, guys. ;;vuv**  
><strong>Wow, I haven't updated this thing since I was a freshman... And I'm a senior now, haha. Dang...<strong>  
><strong>The other day I kinda remembered that this thing was still up and unfinished, and I reread it (Oh sweet jesus my writing was <em>awful<em>) and... I feel like I need to finish it.**  
><strong>Which is what I plan on doing.<strong>  
><strong>So... Here we go! Chapter nine!<strong>  
><strong>This chapter's pretty tame, and not nearly as depressing or god-awful as the last ones... But don't expect it to be like this for long, heheh. I've got ideas and tricks up my sleeve. c;<strong>  
><strong>Sorry to keep you guys waiting... for over two years... ;w;<strong>

* * *

><p>That night was magical. Honestly.<p>

I'd never been in such an intimate position and I didn't think I'd mind too much if it were to happen again.

Of course, I didn't say this. I still have to work on voicing my feelings, and that went for other things, too.

Not just sad feelings or self-hurty feelings.

It's all my feelings. I have a lot of work to do.

But anyway. I'm not gonna get into all of that self-improvement stuff because I kinda just wanna talk about Gilbert and how we kissed last night and how I'm currently laying in my bed with him.

We didn't go very far last night – I mean, our feelings kinda _just_ came out, and I swear I'm not a prude, but… I dunno, I'm just not ready for that stuff, y'know? I think you all know I'm a very emotional person at this point and with my emotions not all in check at the moment, doing a very emotionally-taxing thing in my current state probably isn't the best idea.

Not to mention I don't know how to feel about Gilbert seeing me… well, naked.

Yeeeahhh, that wasn't happening. Not any time soon, anyway.

Moving on…

We fell asleep after a lot more kissing and now, it was morning. Almost time for school.

I turned onto my side to face him (He'd been pressed up against my back during the night) and gently shook his shoulder to wake him.

Have I ever mentioned how Gilbert was a heavy sleeper? It took me five minutes just to get a groggy groan out of him. We weren't up _that_ late….

"Gil," I murmured, and when he just grunted tiredly in response, I sighed and leaned in to press a soft kiss to his forehead, then his eyelids, then his nose.

That got him up.

"..Huh..?" he grumbled, and I couldn't help but smile a little at how adorable my boyfriend was.

Boyfriend. We're boyfriends. Dang.

"C'mon, we have to get up or we'll be late." I said to him, and he just pulled the covers over his head and grumbled something along the lines of me being 'cruel' for waking him up so early.

The response only got an eye roll from me.

He's like a little kid, I swear.

"Gil, c'mon." I said again, this time a little sterner, and sat up. Gilbert whined (Yes, _whined_) and sat up as well, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. I could tell he wasn't happy, but he seemed to cheer up a little when he caught sight of me sitting beside him. Just a little. He still looked a bit grumpy.

But it didn't matter. The fact he looked happy to see me still made my heart flutter.

"Wh'time issit?" he asked groggily, and stretched his arms above his head. I glanced over at the clock on my nightstand.

"Seven-thirty. We woke up just in time."

"Birdie, I hope you know I'm not a morning person."

"I'm aware. C'mon, get up. I'll make us breakfast."

Except that didn't happen. By the time we were both showered and dressed, Al had already claimed the kitchen and was currently making something that looked like eggs and toast. I inwardly groaned.

Don't get me wrong, Al was a surprisingly good cook for someone like… well, _him_. He was just… so messy. And I'm usually the one who has to clean up his messes.

And yes, it is very much possible to make a mess out of _eggs and toast_.

"Morning Ma-…" he greeted in a sing-songy voice, but cut off in the middle of his sentence when he saw Gilbert standing beside me.

Welp.

I probably should've told him that Gilbert had stayed the night…

"What's he doing here?" Al asked me, disdain showing clear in his voice and expression. Al was very vocal about his dislike for Gilbert.

Gilbert only smirked though. He never did seem off-put by Alfred's hostility. I mean, I don't blame him, since Alfred isn't usually a very violent person in the slightest, but he could get scary when he wanted to. When he did get scary it was usually because something had happened to me (The few times he actually noticed something happening, anyway. He's protective when he remembers that, hey, I'm still kind of _here_).

Gilbert opened his mouth but I cut him off, because I just _knew_ he was gonna reply with something snarky and then Al was gonna get mad and there would more than likely be eggs splattered against the wall and _I_ would have to clean it up, and I kinda wanted to avoid all of that.

"He stayed the night. To make sure I'd be okay." I cut in quickly, and Al just shot my boyfriend a distrusting look; then me, a look that was borderline pouting.

Jesus…

"But Mattie, I can take care of you just fine! That's what heroes do! They don't need other people to help." Aaaand he was glaring at Gil again.

I just sighed. Once again, I cut Gil off, knowing exactly how he was going to reply and knowing exactly how Al would react.

Let's just say it wouldn't be good.

"Al, really, it's okay.. A little help doesn't hurt." My voice kinda got quiet at that last part. I guess I was trying to tell both him and myself that.

Well, I know help isn't a bad thing. I mean, all I've wanted for the longest time is for someone to notice me and give me a hand and help me deal with all of this, but now that I have the help, and from several people at that, it's just… weird.

I'm not used to it.

But anyway.

"We have to go, Al. I'll see you later, eh?" I told my brother, trying to appease him. It seemed to work a little, but not much.

He sighed.

"Yeah, alright… I'll meet up with you at lunch, 'kay bro?"

"Yeah, I'll see you then."

I pulled Gil out of the kitchen and out of the house before he said something that would probably get him punched, and we made our way to school.

Gilbert offered to buy me breakfast before we went to school, but I refused, saying he could go get something if he wanted to. I'd already missed too much school and I didn't want to miss anymore.

Of course, Gilbert wasn't as concerned about his attendance as I was mine, so he walked me to school and left to go get him something to eat.

(But not without giving me a kiss goodbye first. I blushed like an idiot but I can't deny that it made me happy.)

Anyway.

School started off as it usually did. I was almost late for first period, I was ignored throughout first period, and soon first period ended. Second period went by about the same way.

As the day passed I constantly found myself rubbing at the bandages on my arms that were hidden by my hoodie. I didn't have a reason to cut, especially since today had been one of my better days so far, but I just… I wanted to cut.

I needed to.

But I kept myself from doing it. I knew Gilbert would be upset if he found out I hurt myself again while he wasn't with me, and if I can't stop for myself, then I was going to try and stop for him.

He caught up with me during lunch. A smile instantly came to my face when I saw him sitting in his usual spot at his usual table. He looked up and saw me, then stood and made his way towards me.

As he made his way up to me, I saw Al giving him dirty looks the whole time. He was sitting a few tables away with Arthur and Francis. I didn't see Antonio anywhere.

Good.

"Birdie!" Gil called, and wrapped an arm around my shoulders when he reached me. I smiled but blushed a little, still not really used to the PDA stuff. I could practically feel the glare that Alfred was sending us- er, Gil.

"C'mon, I brought you some lunch." he told me, as happy and cheery as always.

I blinked.

He… brought me food?

"Oh, Gil, you didn't have to do that…" I murmured, but smiled a little, actually deeply flattered.

He bought me food. Wow.

He just shrugged and led me over to the table. As I got closer I noticed Romano was here, as well as Ludwig and Feliciano. The latter was currently draped over the blonde teen and was crying about something. Ludwig looked uncomfortable. I felt kinda bad for him.

"But it was awesome of me to do it, right?" Gil boasted, somehow perfectly pulling off his smirk-grin combo.

"It's what awesome people do! They buy food for other awesome people! That's like.. double the awesome. You can't go wrong with that!"

All I could do was chuckle. Gil could be a bit much at times, but it was endearing.

"Ah, that's a good point." I went along, smiling some. I took a seat beside him and he gave me my lunch (Dammit, I couldn't get over the fact that he got me food…), then he opened up his own lunch and we both dug in.

This was probably the most peaceful lunch I'd had in a long, long time.

So of course it had to be ruined.

Just when I thought I'd burst from happiness, Antonio stepped into the cafeteria.

I immediately froze. Gilbert noticed and wrapped an arm around my waist. If he was trying to reassure me that I'd be okay, it worked. Kinda.

I ignored the gawking expression on Alfred's face that appeared when Gil put his arm around me.

….I didn't tell him we were a thing now, did I? Welp…

I didn't worry about that, though. I was too preoccupied staring at the kid who mercilessly beat me to a near pulp on more occasions than I could count.

But, thankfully, he was too preoccupied with something else, too.

Just as Antonio walked in, Romano stood and made his way over to him, clearly fuming.

Which wasn't a new thing, really. Romano was always upset about something.

The two got into a shouting match over something so trivial it'd be a waste of time to explain. Something about their relationship. And it seemed to be a one-sided argument. Antonio wasn't yelling, instead trying to calm the other boy down, and Romano was yelling enough for the both of them.

A few minutes into the fight Francis came and slid down beside me at our table. Again, I tensed up. I stayed quiet, but Gil spoke up.

"What're they fighting about now?" he asked Francis, and Francis just sighed in that overly-dramatic way he did sometimes.

"Ah, something to do with Romano seeing him around other men, I do believe."

He heaved another sigh and leaned a little closer to me, but didn't look at me. Instinctively, I leaned against Gil to get away from him.

"Perhaps it isn't my place to speak, but Romano seems to have him on a bit of a tight leash, huh? There's nothing wrong with flirting with other people~" he purred.

I wanted this guy away from me. I was half tempted to get up and leave.

"As long as you don't act on it, what's the harm~?" Francis shot me a wink and Gilbert frowned and brought me closer to him. He seemed to be a bit annoyed by his friend's behavior – and understandably so.

"Hands off, Franny. Birdie and I happen to be in a committed relationship, and we don't need you sticking your pervy nose where it shouldn't be." Gil snorted, half teasing and half serious.

Although, I really hope he was more serious than anything. I had a feeling he was.

Francis just pouted and reluctantly backed off with yet another dramatic sigh. He held his hands up defensively.

"Ah ah, I understand, mon ami." he appeased, and just as he said that, a sharp smacking sound resonated through the whole cafeteria.

Everyone went silent.

Antonio held a hand up to his now reddening cheek as he watched Romano storm off.

The expression on his face was so pitiful even _I_ felt kinda bad for him.

Antonio shot a look our way – I knew it was directed at Gil and Francis but I shied away from it anyway. I couldn't help it.

He looked… really upset. He turned away and hurried after the fuming Italian.

And just as that.. scene, came to an end, the bell rang for everyone to go back to class.

Gil and I both stood, and he pecked me on the cheek. I blushed and a nearby teacher warned us to keep our hands to ourselves.

I still smiled, though. Nothing could phase me right now.

"I'll catch up with ya later Birdie, alright?" he said to me, and I nodded.

His usually carefree expression took on a more serious look.

"You gonna be alright?"

Once again, I nodded.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I promise. Get to class, eh?" I grinned a little and nudged him, and the seriousness fell from his face and he grinned as well.

"Yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes, and was off, Francis in tow.

I watched them go, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Alfred coming my way.. only to be dragged away by the British kid he was sitting with.

I never thought I'd say this, but god bless Arthur.

I made my way to my next class. The day was halfway over and… I felt okay. I usually felt awful at this point but right now I felt very content.

Until Francis showed up again.

My mood kinda dropped when I saw him searching for me. The only reason I knew he was looking for me was because his face lit up when he saw me, and he made a beeline to get to me.

"Mathieu, mon ami, I must speak with you." He said when he got up to me. He stepped a little closer to me than I felt comfortable with, and I took a step back.

"I-.. Francis, I-I can't, the bell is about to ring.." I replied weakly, and.. he looked a bit serious now.  
>It was weird.<p>

"But Mathieu, it is important-"

"I have to go, I'm sorry."

I hurried to my class.

I didn't want to know what he had to tell me.

Francis… was never serious. And when he was, he was never like… Gravely serious. Not like how he looked just then.

It kinda scared me, honestly.

I knew it meant that whatever he had to tell me, it wasn't good.

And I didn't want to hear any bad news. Today was a good day, and I wasn't about to let Francis ruin it.

I made it to my class almost as soon as the bell rang. The teacher didn't notice me enter, which wasn't unusual.

I couldn't really find it in me to care about that right now, though. I didn't want to know what Francis had to tell me… but I still found myself wondering what it was.

I tried to push the thought from my mind.

Today was a good day.


End file.
